Here are some things that have happened:
1.
On my daily walk, I start kicking over toadstools that grow all over this pasture near my work. My coworker turns to me and says, “You’re like that one guy, Gargomel, on the Smurfs.” Then I think to myself: Isn’t that the worst insult ever? To be compared to a hideous old man who lives alone with his cat. Fact is, I do live alone. But I don’t have a cat. Also, I’m totally not an old man. Hideous? Eh, I get her point.
2.
While climbing on the roof to drain my evaporate cooler, I slipped on a tile. I slid a good 10 feet on the wet roof but managed to grab on the storm drain before going over the edge. As I was dangling there, my phone started to ring. Part of me REALLY wanted to answer it, just so when they asked, “What are you doing?”, I could say, “falling to my death.”
3.
Death Cab for Cutie sound fantastic live. This was a pleasant surprise. Not so pleasant was the drunk guy dancing next to me. Even though there was a metal gate between us (segregating the intoxicated) his proximity began to get on my nerves. At one point he would dance like a marionette puppet, “feeling” the music like no one I’ve ever seen. The next minute he would yell out, “Fuck you, Ben Gibbard!” Huh? Which is it, drunk guy? Do you like him or hate him? You can’t have it both ways.
4.
Canadians have their own Thanksgiving? That’s adorable. At the dinner celebration I went to, it was all turkey, mashed potatoes, and cranberries -- staple foods of the American version. So here’s my question: Do Canadians eat the same food for their day of harvest as Americans? I tried to ask, but no one at the dinner was Canadian. It was at that moment I began to wonder what the hell we were doing.
5.
In the hills above Bountiful, Utah, God reached down his gigantic hand and turned up the planet’s saturation knob. Just a little at first; streaks of oranges and reds and yellows mixed with green. The higher we hiked, the higher he twisted. A mile up and the world was vibrant, overwhelming wonderland of color. Since when did trees come in that many varieties? What’s up with that, God?
•••
Nothing else has happened. Nothing. Oh, and one of those five things is a total lie. Just thought you should know.
8 comments:
Americans have a day of harvest? Since when? And do I actually have to harvest something, because I'm not big on manual labor.
Canadian thanksgiving is exactly the same, foodwise. You guys just like to copy us, that's all.
I think No. 2 is the lie, but I'm kind of hoping that No. 5 is. It can't be that pretty. It just can't.
Craptastic. The Canadians have managed to copy yet another great American invention, like the Thighmaster and Friends. Get your own holidays and exercise/torture devices, I say.
Gargomel is still a better name than Ben Gibbard. The latter sounds like something you remove from Thanksgiving turkey before eating it.
oh piss off. Everybody knows that Suzanne Sommers wanted to be Canadian before she decided to be an actress.
Besides, Canadian Thanksgiving comes earlier in the year than the American version. Every year it's the same. Copy copy copy.... And the whole world copied Christmas after us. Red and white... think about it.
CL: You're not supposed to harvest anything. That's what the indians were for.
What: I always wondered why Gargamel created Smurfette in the first place. If she was going to help expand the population, why was he always trying to eat her?
Nardac: You're right. #2 was the lie -- at least the part about dangling from the roof. And getting the phone call. And being on the roof in the first place. The rest is true.
Kris: Gibbard... hah! I never thought about it that way. Well, he may be turkey waste, but man can he sing.
NARDAC/Canada and Michael J. Fox win again! Isn't that rich.
If you saw the episode, where Smurfette makes her appearance, she was in fact fabricated by Gargomel... though at that time, she had black hair. I think it was something to cause a ruckus break up the cohesion of the camp. Little did Gargomel realize that Smurfs are by nature swingers.
jeremy, to be honest with you, i don't particularly care which one was made up. the entire thing had me laughing.. in fact i let a laugh out sitting in the computer lab. i just couldn't help it... picturing someone dangle like that. Just the word "dangle." Pure comedy.
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