Some giant bulimic god has gorged itself on snow cones and purged all over my city.

That’s the kind of snow that has been dumping these past few days. Slushy, crusty, and plentiful. This week, Utah has anything but the “Greatest Snow on Earth.” Utah License Plates, you lie.

Granted, having snow everywhere isn’t without some charm. It changes things up a bit; reminds me that there are seasons and whatnot. And at least it’s consistent with the ideal Christmas environment portrayed in movies and television. And last week when my friend broke her foot while dancing the “boot-scoot boogie” or whatever the hell it was called, we were able to run outside and gather snowballs to ice up her foot and keep down the swelling so she wasn’t screaming with pain all the way to the hospital.

But I’m through making excuses for the snow. Really, nothing good can be said. I don't ski, I don't snowboard, I don't frolic about. T'aint worth it.