Thursday, August 19, 2004

Curiously Strong Beef

Yesterday I went to the Curiosa festival in Salt Lake. I went, of course, to see the Cure and take the opportunity to enjoy Robert Smith before he starts to decompose (having passed away from old age years ago). The Usana amphitheatre was at capacity, brimming with all kinds of interesting people, although the majority seemed to be severely colorblind (not being able to differentiate between colors other than black). Goth or not, they were all fairly young, yet still rabid fans, even though the Cure has been around for a long, long time--since the Twenties, I think.

It's in these exploration years that young adults tend to experiment with harmful and often destructive practices—like rampant hedonism, drugs, and/or vegetarianism. Yes, PETA, everyone's favorite animal defenders and veggie-lifestyle advocates had a booth at the festival. PETA is known for protesting everything from the cruel slaughter of bovine to the cruel practice of staring down geese.

These days, vegetarians like to pretend they're hip, socially conscious do-gooders, and not just spacey hippies. Boy, do they have their work cut out for them. Yet I joke. I actually quite respect vegetarians, although it is not my lifestyle of choice.

But what vegetarians certainly don't need is PETA on their side. Let's be honest: PETA is whacky. It almost feels like they get some kind of sadistic pleasure out of barraging us with images of animals being viciously abused come slaughter-time. I just don't want to think about THAT while I’m chomping on a cheeseburger. Do you see me trying to ruin your soy yogurt by revealing to you what soy is really made of? (chalk dust).

The answer is no, PETA. Leave me alone. And please leave the teenage goth kids alone too, who want nothing more than to come see the Cure, smoke pot, and contemplate suicide. And yet you insist on distracting them. That's just cruel.


Mr. What said...

Speaking of PETA and animals, did you know trampoline jumping is now an Olympic sport. Well now you know, it is a sport. People get on a trampoline, jump 50 feet in the air and do thousands of flips, twists and any number of technical tricks we all do when we were kids. It is quite amazing. I am personally training for a new event I hope they add in 2008. I am training for a new sport called 'sitting and eating potato chips while watching T.V.' It is very exciting.

Jeremy said...

I watched both the men's and women's trampoline finals. I've become obsessed. Now that TiVO runs my life, I have 50 hours of the olympics already taped and am watching way too much of it.

I hate to break it to you, but I heard the Couch Potato event is usually dominated by the dangerously obese. If you're not a computer programmer, talk-show enthusiast, or Reality show critic, you probably just don't have the right body-type. Keep working, though. If I was physically capable of gaining even ONE pound, perhaps I would compete as well. (I've been training with my TiVo, afterall).

Mr. What said...

Very clever, using the TIVO. I would suggest strict diet of Snickers and Tab. In addition to your Olympic watching I would also suggest watching the Lord of The Rings trilogy once a day or so. Also be sure to avoid showers and sunlight as much as possible.

Jeremy said...

Haha, I haven't had a Tab in months -- which would probably explain my crippling depression...

No, actually, I think (in my case) more extreme measures would need to be taken. Like flavored crisco you can buy and eat like icecream. Mmm.. Pistascio Crisco Surprise or Lemon Crisco Dream. I could see myself eating that, with perhaps chunks of snickers mixed in. Then, when I'm sufficiently whale-like and albino pale (from avoiding that sunlight), I will have finally reached my goal of becoming a freakishly obsese, immobile slob. The problem is, the whole thing will take A LOT of work. I'm not sure if I'm up for that. It kind of defeats the purpose, you know?

C.K. said...

My sister insisted we tape almost everything that had anything vaugly to do with the olympics. the olympics were in august, and we still had stuff saved on Tivo until october.
i think i'll skip watching them next time, since i've had enough this year