1) I am no longer under the oppression of the “young males cause accidents” statistic. Goodbye high auto insurance rates.
2) Add two zeros in the middle of my age, and you’ll always know the year.
3) This will stop working in 2010.
4) I feel like I already have Alzheimer’s, considering I can’t remember anything that’s happened in the last 25 years, up until this very moment.
5) I’m doing what with the who now?
6) Things feel eerily similar to how they did when I was 24, except that now the square root of me is 5.
7) Having 5 as your square root really isn’t that cool.
8) My mother called and left two messages where she sang every version of the “happy birthday” song she knows, including those from restaurants she frequents. It took two messages because she had to stop and start over several times. My mother is whacky.
9) A friend in France called, which was nice, although I now know I have lost all ability to speak and understand French before 10 a.m.
10) When you have previously gifted a friend with “Get in Shape, Girl,” a disturbing book featuring 7-year-olds in leotards from the 1980s, they are sure to retaliate.
11) Cake gets old...fast.
25) I don’t mind 25. But I fear 26. Fear it like the very devil.