Thursday, December 15, 2005

Best Be Updatin'

Has it come to this? Every new blog entry just an excuse about why I’m not blogging? I have a guilty need to explain my absence--if only to stall the inevitable emails asking if I’ve died. I haven’t, but I might as well have -- at least until after Christmas.

I’ve got a book going to press in a week, and the last few weeks I’ve been staying late into the night trying to get it finished. Who sets these imbecilic deadlines? Oh right, my boss.

When the work day finally ends, I eat and go to bed. On the weekends I refuse to even look at a computer. Which makes blogging kind of difficult.

So to Grace, Nardac, Kris, Kim, Adam, CL, Brad, Edwige, Jill, and anyone else who reads this blog regularly: Merry Christmas! Y'all are swell. Enjoy your holiday shopping and whatnot. Don’t get trampled.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I Don't Ski

Some giant bulimic god has gorged itself on snow cones and purged all over my city.

That’s the kind of snow that has been dumping these past few days. Slushy, crusty, and plentiful. This week, Utah has anything but the “Greatest Snow on Earth.” Utah License Plates, you lie.

Granted, having snow everywhere isn’t without some charm. It changes things up a bit; reminds me that there are seasons and whatnot. And at least it’s consistent with the ideal Christmas environment portrayed in movies and television. And last week when my friend broke her foot while dancing the “boot-scoot boogie” or whatever the hell it was called, we were able to run outside and gather snowballs to ice up her foot and keep down the swelling so she wasn’t screaming with pain all the way to the hospital.

But I’m through making excuses for the snow. Really, nothing good can be said. I don't ski, I don't snowboard, I don't frolic about. T'aint worth it.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Happy AIDS Day, Everyone!

I hope you all have a wonderful World AIDS Day. Just be sure you're in bed by midnight, because that's when the HIV Fairy of Happiness comes. If you've been good, she'll leave immune-system boosting drugs under your pillow. But if you've been bad, you'll wake up full of dirty needles.

...

I'm going to hell.

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