Monday, January 31, 2005

Mormonize Me!

It's true that Mormons are strange. We can try to shimmy around this fact all we want, but it doesn't change reality. Some may argue that this is a stereotype and we shouldn't try to categorize an entire culture, but it's also true that all stereotypes have some basis in fact. Enough asians are bad drivers and enough indians are alcoholics to give their corrosponding stereotypes some credibility. These things don't come from nowhere, people.

I could spend volumes discussing the weird things about Mormon culture. Instead, I refer you to a link I stumbled upon deep in the nether-regions of the internet. It is a Mormon Name Generator, kind of like the popular Pornstar Name Generator, but a little less sexy. Some Mormons (mostly those that live in Utah) like to come up with bizarre names for their children. This is one thing that Mormons and African Americans have in common. They have their Sha-nay-nay's and we have our Mahonri's.

Give it a whirl. Mormonize yourself! Props to Rum and Monkey for creating this thing. Now go convert.

18 comments:

grace said...

i actually might change my name to this:

Francelle Ambrosine

hehe.

Jer said...

Ohhh, you got a good one. Mine is pretty boring: Jerem Mauntana. And if I was a woman, it would be Jerelyn. This is all pretty accurate of the weird things some Mormons do with names.

grace said...

hehe. i met some mormons a few months back... i knew i should've written their names down... one of the kids names was jerrodyn or something like that... i thought for sure i'd never forget their names... GAH! note to self: write more notes to self...

grace said...

oooh. i didn't even think to put it in as a male name. this one is even MORE awesome!!!! i might change my name to this!

Arsace Gatobon

grace said...

OMG! i can't stop!

steve is: Bradstreet Lewise Linton (as a girl: Celeste Jael Deleise)

but if i use steven instead, it's: Benteen Lewise Linton (as a girl: Athleen Deleise)

good god. i can't stop. i need to post this...

NARDAC said...

Samila Celestial Dawn
CULT!!! ;p

Jer said...

Grace: Your names worked out better than some I've seen. I swear I've met someone named Bradstreet.

Nardac: Samila?! That one is horrid! It's like Sam..but slightly more feminine, yet so ugly at the same time.

NARDAC said...

Yes, Samila is ugly. But someone's got to like the Yetis.

mark said...

i am henceforth to be known as:

DELMAR ARCHILUS

you know, like the guy from o brother where art thou...

good stuff.

mark said...

okay.... delmar pales in comparison to my female psuedonym... i give you,


arikkaa chinchilla zest.

yes, like the little animal that bathes in dust.

Jer said...

Wilkes: Chinchilla?!? That is fantastic. I also like the first name: arikkaa...which is of course pronounced Erika. Utah Mormons, as you know, are also notorious for taking ordinary names and spelling them nonsensically. Luckily I was born in California or my name might have been spelled JAIREHMEE

J: Yours sounds very Zen. WTF, indeed. Glad you like the site :)

jess said...

I have to say this whole thing is out of control... i can't stop mormonizing people! Mine came out to be Jessamina Kazerae. And if i'm a guy, Messiah Angel Kollier. My boyfriend's isn't exciting as is, so i'll tell you what it as if i put in female... Jubeltine Cantor Ray.

grace said...

i'm not kidding... this might be the best invention ever.

btw, you shall henceforth be known as: JAIREHMEE

Quyen said...

Haha! I love the connection you made between Af. Ams and Mormons... too funny! :P

Cindy-Lou said...

I love the fact that you put your own name in as a woman. That's funny.

Kristen said...

My aunt's name is Jerelyn -- no lie. The mormon variety of Special K is Camecia Bennie Kay or as a boy Jerijal Kabe...

grace said...

are you DEAD? where are you? you haven't posted at all in feb! deadlines, schmeadlines... you owe us a post.

Jer said...

Here's the thing: I don't blog much at work anymore and my computer at home is in my basement. My basement is cold, particularly where my feet are. It's as if some heat-sucking vortex resides at that exact spot and furnaces and space heaters have no affect on it. I enjoy having warm feet, like most people, so you can see the dilemma.

But then again, I like blogging, so I should really just put up with the cold. For the good of the children.

I am surprised people still read this blog, what with my lack of postings and all. If I were them, I would say, "*#&@ you, Jeremy. You suck," and delete the bookmark.

Kicks in the pants always help. Thanks, Grace. I will post tonight.