Deceased: one pet fish, orange-red, age 8 months. True, I had no emotional attachment to this creature. His sole purpose in life was to act as a decoration, and perhaps to give me something to write about in my profile. True, he only cost $3.99, the equivilant to a fast-food value meal, quickly digested and forgotten. And true, he probably had it coming, the little bastard. That's not the point. What bothers me is that I tried, if rather sloppily, to save his life and ended up doing a crappy job of it. It's like this: I remembered at the very last second, not long before leaving for the airport, that I would be gone five days and would not be able to feed the fish. It was too late to drop him off a friend's house, since I was leaving to the airport buttcrack early. I mean, who would like to be woken at four in the morning by a guy at their doorstep holding a fish bowl? I couldn't take the fish on the plane because that's just way too dangerous (thanks a lot 9/11). What was I to do?
Let him die, I suppose. That was my first thought. But I was crippled with guilt over the whole gerbil incident and couldn't bring myself to kill any more small animals. I had to do something. So I went to Walmart. That store has the answers to everything, doesn't it? Yup, a sweet slice of sin, that Walmart. I found what I needed: a white, sea shell-shaped wafer that disolves slowly in water, feeding a fish for up to 14 days. I was set. I had saved the day. Glory Hallelujah and whatnot.
The fish still died, of course. I didn't leave my heater on while I was gone and there was a snow storm. I came home to find the fish frozen to death. Betas are tropical fish. Duh, Jeremy. There was nothing to do but toss the corpse into the sink, turn on the disposal, wait for it to be ground up, then move on in life. Things happen, fish die. But, God, why did you have to take the Sea Monkeys too? They were only babies!
13 comments:
I know the feeling on this one...I had about 20 tropical fish in a fish tank once because I wanted a pet and wasn't allowed anything except fish (I finally convinced my dad to let me have a dog, they're easier to take care of) and so I put about $100 into a fish tank and all the supplies plus fish. So, it was awesome for a while and I had my fish and I was happy. For whatever reason, I couldn't keep the PH down in the water. I tried everything from changing the type of water to changing the filter system to using the PH tabs for the water. Nothing worked. So, the 20 fish I had died. Most were babies because I bought the one fish when she was pregnant. That was a neat experience too. But, it sucked because I actually watched them die and couldn't do anything about it...*tear*
you ground him up in the sink???? holy crap. what kind of monster are you????
whatever happened to just flushing him down in the toilet? at least he could enter fish heaven in one piece! :P
G: I was already using the sink to clean out his bowl, so it was much more convenient to grind him up than to walk all the way to the toilet. Besides, he would have wanted it that way.
T: Sounds like you were much more attached to your fish than I was. I'm sure compassion motivated you to try to preserve their lives, wheras I was driven by guilt alone. And what's up with these fish freaking out over PH levels? Give me a break, fishes. Live with it! Oh wait, you couldn't.
I feel sorry for the poor fish. But I must ask: did it have a name? You never mentioned one.
I once had a fish, along with my two sisters also having their own. They all swam happily together in the same tank. Then, Maggie, who was about four, fed them goldfish and they all died. :( I was quite a sad seven or eight year old.
Then there was the time when I was two, and one of my fishes ate the other one, and then it died.
I don't have much luck with fish, either, I guess...
mmmm. fish... i'm hungry now!
1. I seem to recall a point blank christening of the fish, naming him "Fish." I thought it was a good, sturdy name. One Fish would be proud of.
2. I'm with Grace on the disposal thing. Maybe it's because I have a dog...I'm not going to finish that thought. Vive le poisson? Hmmmm. I'm not convinced.
wow, and I was going to ask your advice on buying a fish for dacnar. It's his birthday next week and we've been looking for pet alternatives ever since he told me that he would strangle a cat if it lived with us. do you have any plant advice instead, or do you kill those too?
K: The title is actually an allusion to an old Enigma album, "Le Roi est mort, Vive le Roi!" But how I would expect anyone to get that reference, I don't know. No one has really heard of Enigma, which probably has to do with the fact they're not very good.
N: I've been successful at plants so far. I have a big one in my cubicle at work. The thing with plants is that you got to water them. Good advice, no?
Did they have a song that was called something like 'return to innocence?' I seem to recall some enigma from my modern dance days...It's all sort of fuzzy and there's a lot of wailing.
yeah... enigma... i do like that one album... you know. the one that's good to screw to when you're really, really drunk. :P i can't think of the name right now. the one with the roman numerals on it...
Ah, Fish... what an... orginal name :)
You totally had me when the fish died of hypothermia but then I was all like...HE GROUND HIM UP IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL?! WHAT A SICKO!
Come on, it's a 2-inch fish, not a human baby. I think grinding up the corpse is less demeaning than flushing the thing down the toilet. People don't relieve themselves in the sink. Well, MOST of us don't.
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