Dear Idiot Celebrities and Pompous Newscasters,
Please shut up. Honestly, there is no good reason for you to be talking. Sure, everyone has a right to their opinion, to speak their mind, yaddity yaddity. Fine, go on speaking, but at least surgically remove your tongue first. I’d much rather hear gurgly throat noise than anything you have to say.
Yes, Bush was re-elected. Is this a bad thing? Most probably, yes. Does that give you an excuse to say idiot things like you’re going to leave the country? No. Please give up the melodrama! I know that you’re paid to be melodramatic, but save it for when you’re reading a script or a teleprompter. The world is not going to end because you don’t like the President. Fifty percent of the U.S. population is not comprised of ignorant, slack-jawed yokels. Sure, we have plenty of those, but I’d like to think that they aren’t one out of every two Americans. If you think so, you are seriously out of touch.
For all your talk of open-mindedness, you refuse to even attempt to understand what drives many Americans. If you want to write them off as religious fanatics, war-mongers, or too-stupid-to-know-better you are being more ignorant than they ever could be.
I suppose I wouldn’t care so much, except it’s getting out of hand. Today I went to the website of a very talented author who will remain nameless. I’ve been reading his books for several years now. I’m eagerly anticipating his next book, the progress of which is announced periodically on his site. What did I see today? One long, obnoxious whine. He is so upset over the election, that he announced he is too depressed to write. He says it could take weeks before he gets out this funk. I’ve never wanted to slap a person more in my life.
Was I upset over the election? Yes, it made me rather sad for about a day. Did the results surprise me? Not really. Do I think the Bush family is going to turn America into a stinking cesspool of filth and corruption? Listen, we’ve had many a President making many a wrong decision. The history of this country is not coated in sequins and glitter. Life goes on. Things are never as bad as they seem. Light up a pipe, suck down some caviar, do a little yoga, whatever calms your nerves. We’ll be okay.
11 comments:
Yes, I found this very telling. No matter how much P.Diddy said "vote or die," or how many music videos with dancing video game characters sang of the virtues of voting, or how many pairs of underwear and raman noodles Micheal Moore gave away, or how much Mat Damon blathered on about changing the country, the numbers of young people voting were exactly the same as 2000.
Sorry celebrities, it didn't work.
I don't know exactly how much the 'young vote' really mattered. But, in 2000, we didn't have to wait on people to finish voting in order to count the votes, which is a good sign. (We just had to wait on FLA to count them right...1...2...4...5...wait, did we miss some?) Especially that people would wait a max. of 7 hours in order to vote. To me, that's just crazy, but it's really important that people want to get their voice heard. People really wanted to have a say in how this election went and for what it matters...it didn't matter who won the presidency, but more so that people actually WANTED to have a say in who won it this time around.
I've have to say that I was pretty sceptical that things would change, because, well, they never really seem to. Democrats are have a small edge on Republicans in the international image competition, but as for their record, who can really say who comes out on top? Depends on what you want. I was happy to read that you researched your candidates (well, almost all of them) before voting. Thank goodness someone is doing more than just following what newscasters are posting as predictable winners.
But what do Americans really want from their leader? What do they really want as a direction in foreign policy and domestic safety? I'm not sure if the election clearly gives an answer to that. It's seems to be a vote for domestic security but with what means? Foreign intervention?
On a sidenote, someone gave me the link to the Marry an American webpage. It's a Canadian webpage listing Canadians who are willing to marry Americans because of the election. I took a look at their candidates: gag. I mean, I knew it was satire, but how fucking predictable and lameass can these people get. The humour was so neo-hippie daddy's-rich left wing. After looking at that mess, I realized that Canada is not the answer. If the young intelligensia are wittering away their time with such weak political satire, I'm glad I tore out of there like a bat outta hell.
what the hell does it matter, anyway. the popular vote doesn't even matter. i wish they'd get rid of the archaic electoral college votes...
because, really, no one who loses the popular vote should become president. ever.
you understand, of course that eliminating the electoral college is a bad idea right? unless you want all future elections to be decided by new york city and los angeles.
on the other hand, munns, this i think is your best entry to date. while it is somewhat amusing to watch the whinning that is going on, it would be preferable if they would just shut it and do somthing more productive.
there have been administrations 100x more corrupt than this one, so i think that we all can take a simmer pill, and realize it will all be okay.
actually, being a resident of so. cal. i would like to see all future elections decided by LA and NY. hehe.
oh, suck it up. :P
The thing that really worries me about this election, much more than who ended up President, is the further break-down of checks and balances. Even more than before, Republicans control both houses and Congress, and some would argue the Supreme Court. Even Reagan, a president revered by people from both parties (I think it helps that he's dead), had Democrats in congress to keep him in check. Rarely do most people agree with everything their party is pushing, and now, without re-election pressure, the Republicans are going to start pushing a lot of stuff. If I wake up to find all my neighbors armed, and oil drilling towers on every corner, I'm going to be very disgruntled. (Yes, I can be a sensationalist too).
As long as I'm talking politics, here's another thing that bothers me: I was talking to my dad the other day, who is a very moderate Republican and big on the environment, and he was saying he just doesn't understand why Republicans love to chop down forests. Aren't conservatives supposed to CONSERVE things? Their whole goal is to preserve things they feel shouldn't be changed. Well, last time I checked, a healthy environment is a good thing. And for a party so concerned about family values and keeping familes safe, why are they trying to lift a ban on semi-automatic weapons? Seriously, nobody needs those things. If you want to play Superman and protect the innocent, a normal handgun will do the job just fine.
I'll stop now, even though I could go off on Liberals. They're definately not exempt from contradicting themselves. Okay, less politics, more fat jokes.
Good posts Jeremy. Keep it up.
So glad not to be in the US right now. Our news has sinced moved on to more worldly topics like Arafat dying and the North Pole disappearing in 100 years. But it was the biggest worldwide news item since the start of the Iraq war and Janet Jackson's boob flying out on Superbowl. And for that, the rest of the world is grateful to have been a part of the magic that was the Presidential Elections, 2005. Bravo guys. Best show ever.
yeah, more fat jokes, jeremy.
Number of times I have seen a butt clenh in a commercial: 0
Number of times I hope to see a butt clench used in the future: -1
That said, I found the commerical rather amusing, mostly for the names of the foosball maneuvers. I need to try those on my foosball table!
You should start a blog where you can post these kinds of things. I would read it.
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